THE FOURTH WALL

"Everything here was so new and they didn't know what might happen next, and when it did happen , how they would meet it.There was no stopping.If a man paused to adjust his pack or got his rifle caught in an overhead entanglement the whole troop might take a wrong turning and be lost in the dark"
------- David Malouf "Fly Away Peter"

DREAM....
For Shahzad vision 2020 was a fantasy. He was on this huge stage with strong lights focusing on him. He felt he had come closer to the sun, but he had some fear that his wings attached to him with wax might melt. In the darkness thousand people were watching him. Had anyone focused light on him before ?yes long ago those sweet,beautiful girls used to shoot him with a small laser torch. That time his cheeks and ears used to turn completely red , maybe because the colour of the light was red, or it was snowing outside or because he was shy.

War on the walls....
Next day he scribbled something on the wall with the charcoal which someone must had thrown in the snow from the hot Kangri ( fire pot). That time he was quite young to have a mobile phone, to send SMS.The truth is cell phones hadn't yet arrived in the techno-malnourished Valley. He got the reply from the other side next day on the same wall :"No intention to provide any harm, we only want to be friends" The communication didn't stop after that.

The war of words continued and with this our vocabulary of words also increased. 'HE'S' scribbled things like Sister Martha, polar bear on the rusty tin fence and 'SHE'S' used back fire us , scribbling names like brother xxx, Y2k(famous virus) and two friends were even named as Chip And Dale. The three friends were leaving after the class and the sweet voices hit their backs in one shot, "Mowgli, Mowgli" These friends turned their faces towards this anthem coming from the open window of the class on first floor.. the girls shouted it again but this time laughing with excitement ''mowgli' . Anything can happen when female groups get formed .This all happened because one of the friends had long hair.

These beautiful and intelligent girls didn't wear any head scarf. but whenever they had to pass a shrine. They used to show respect by wrapping one dupatta or veil , all five used to come under the same veil and they used to run like five headed monster in the rain.

OBSERVER.....
He had never acted before . He always was an observer who was sitting in some dark corner in the audience , laughing and clapping like a clown.He wasn't even among the people who remain behind the curtain and do some stage work. You can say He was watching things not even from the FOURTH WALL but from a far distance as if he was some kind of an Alien..

During school days he was fascinated by the plays that used to be put up during the 'Camp Fires' during School camps or fully organised dramas . He always wanted to be there and make people laugh. He still remembers the suspense thriller play performed at his school called as "The patient" by Agatha Christie. and "Ah" how can he forget the beautiful but murderous nurse in the play.

He used to think whether he will be able to go on that stage and shout , cry , say few words or just smile at the audience. He can also perform some monkey tricks and make you laugh. Give him a smile he will give back a bigger smile. He worked with professional actors who never made him feel that he is a fresher. He became excited to see the magical performance which was possible only due to team work. Soon he started to make connections with his feelings and each time he was discovering new things. like a kid who finds some old toys and marbles in some jungle nearby to his home and he thinks that he has found a treasure. Indeed it is a treasure for him.

SHATTERED....

The WALL of relationship had crumbled to dust. It created many wounds in his sense of emotions.The repercussions used to make him nervous suddenly turning a young man into an old man, suffering from extreme nostalgia. He was thinking , thinking and only thinking. He slept , slept, slept to forget the reality for some hours. Sometimes he used to think of taking revenge or just punch a non-living Wall. sometimes he used to blame himself for creating all this nonsense . He wanted something which could calm his inner active volcano which was about to burst anytime like a time bomb.

COLOURFUL ROOM...

In his college the head quarters for theatre is the colourful room on the third floor in the first building. He hardly used the elevator to reach up, instead he preferred the stairs and every time he tried to run faster upwards to beat the record he had set last time.

ZULU TRIBE...

The whole theatre group used to play crazy games. sometimes he used to become the tribal king who would marry only that girl , who would impress him through various tribal dances and songs. Sometimes a poor fellow who is questioning the existence of god because he and his family are dying of hunger , unemployed graduate complaining against the government. Sometimes Rich merchant buying the wife of Raja Harishchandra,Cousin of young Gandhi, teasing him and telling him about the game of marriage.A cop who looks like Hitler. You become evil, corrupt politician Or during 'On the spot acting ' you enact the stories of the audiences,. you play out their emotions. You become an eve teaser who teases women in the buses,an old professor who gets trapped in a burning train. This is not enough you even become the blanket of death when terrorists attack a birthday party, or you become a dog who is adopted by a little girl.

And who can forget the blue eyed, golden haired Miss Idaho a student of theatre in US who was able to understand how important Indian Timing is , Who learnt how to pass time from us,who enjoyed playing Holi so much that pink colour remained in her golden hair for months ( it must be still there). This way she came to know about Indian colours .When She talks to you she makes you feel that she understands you even if you talk in some tribal language . She sometimes used to sing her song compelling you to listen it:
"You've heard of the wonders our land does possess,It's beautiful valleys and hills,The majestic forests where nature abounds,We love every nook and rill.And here we have IdahoWinning her way to fame.Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,and romance lies in her name.Singing, we're singing of you,Ah, proudly too,All our lives thru, we'll go Singing, singing of you, Singing of Idaho.There's truly one state in this great land of oursWhere ideals can be realized.The pioneers made it so for you and me,A legacy we'll always prize"

ICEBERG PSYCHOLOGIST

He found out that people who share their stories never give the whole picture .majority of it remain hidden and what is told is just the tip of the iceberg and rest is submerged in the water. But when you enact the story it hits the bottom portion of the iceberg. This happens we also may have observed or felt such kind of situations. It was stored inside his sub-conscious mind somewhere..he became a kind of psychologist who can understand the feelings of others . More you have listened , observed , suffered, more you are able to touch their broken hearts or tickle their funny bone.

GREEN PASTURES...

But all the time it reminded him of the shepherd taking a nap under the tree while his sheep are grazing the grass. He is quite satisfied as he already had fed these sheep with liquid vitamin and how happy he felt when small lambs came to him and licked his hand to say thanks. "maa "meh meh meh" they kept saying .They cannot speak your goddammit complex language but they know what you are doing. He is listening to the gushing icy brook and trees are waving with the wind.

He feels cool drops of water on his face. He wakes up from his dream. It is raining. He tries to feel the rain on his skin. The lightening sound completely wakes him up from his slumber. He runs ,runs in the heavy rain . Suddenly He falls to his knees breathing heavily . He gives a loud shout towards the sky, veins of the throat clearly seen, like he did when he was on the stage, but this time there was no applause, instead his shout became a faint whisper in the jingling sound of rain and chain reaction blasts of the lightening.. He realizes every hardship ,difficulty is a new learning procedure.Sparks start to fly in the sky "Zip Zap Zoom'. as if showing him how vast the world is.. showing him the far of places for couple of seconds, then darkness again. he waits again and again for the lightening so that he could see more.Someone says in his ears "wake and grow up buddy before it is too late". He starts his caravan and it will still continue even if he climbs or breaks the fourth wall.